“Grasping At The Wind”

I wrote my first book “Grasping At The Wind” to depict my struggles growing up during the turbulent 60’s.

It is my auto-biography and testimony to the greatness of God’s power to transform a life.

If He did it for me He can do it for anybody.

If you or anyone you know is struggling with any type of addiction fell free to contact me through my website.

God is Able!

This is a short excerpt from the book.

“And I ain’t seen nothing but trouble baby

Nobody really understands, no no

And I go to the place where the good feeling awaits me

Self-destruction in my hand

Oh Lord, so stupid minded

Oh, and I go crazy when I can’t find it

Well I know I’m hooked my friend

To the boy who makes slaves out of men. And oh, believe me

flying high in a friendly sky

Oh baby, flying high. “

“Flying High In the Friendly Sky” - Marvin Gaye 1972

My substance abuse escalated in my early teens. I dropped out of high school at fifteen to continue my love affair with alcohol, drugs and the streets.

The era of the 60’s changed the landscape of our nation as well as the landscape of my heart.

Civil Rights, Hippies, Black Power, Vietnam, integration, illegal drugs, assassinations of John F. Kennedy, Malcolm X, Medgar Evers, Martin Luther King Jr. and Robert Kennedy, the rise of mega gangs, my heightened awareness of systemic and overt racism all combined to heighten my social awareness and shape my worldview. They collaborated to produce an angry militancy in me ready to fight for world change.

However I allowed my addictions to strong arm my militancy and social consciousness. My passion for change was reduced to philosophical rants shared with other junkies in back alleys and vacant buildings. I became part of the problem instead of the solution!

I developed a bulletproof emotional shell to protect me from my pain. I fortified it with drugs and alcohol. This strategy failed because when I came down off my high the pain returned. Addicts call this chasing a ghost because permanent relief from your pain eludes you. You chase that first feeling of euphoria repeatedly and never find it. King Solomon in Ecclesiastes said:

“So I came to hate life because everything done under the sun seemed wrong to me. Everything was pointless. ⌊It was like⌋ trying to catch the wind.”

‭‭(Ecclesiastes‬ ‭2:17‬ ‭GW‬‬)

You can purchase “Grasping At The Wind” on my ministry website:

https://www.jacobslm.com

Or you can inbox me.